Dear Parents . . .
Many of you were concerned about the attempt by President Obama to indoctrinate your children. Have no fear. We did not allow students to view this broadcast. We, as educators, are well aware that one time exposures to video can instantly and irrevocably change students. Additionally, politics have never played any part in education and we’ll do our best to make sure they never will.
Please also be alert to other possible attempts to indoctrinate your children. Warning signs for indoctrination include the following:
- your children are isolated from your influence for long periods of time
- fear, threats and punishment are used as motivators
- your children are forced to memorize very specific information
- individuality is suppressed
Now in other news, we’ll be extending the school year1 to become more competitive in the global economy. I’m sure you’ll all be for this move unless you’d like to become slaves to the Chinese. Remember 21st Century Skills were laid out by business leaders who have told us exactly what your children should know so they’ll be good workers. Clearly our business leaders know exactly what they’re doing and know exactly what education needs to do.
Finally, make sure you’re bringing the school day home! We’ve sent home flashcards and extra homework. Remember, if your child doesn’t pass the state test they will be unable to graduate and will ultimately end up homeless, alone and incurably bitter.
Welcome back to school!
Yours in Administration,
Principal Jim Jones2