Police Beat

I was listening to “Ain’t too Proud to Beg” coming to work this morning. I’m always surprised what songs actually say when you really listen to the lyrics. Essentially, a number of the things advised by songs can be highly questionable- even in innocent seeming songs from The Temptations. Given that and the predilection of stars to get in legal trouble I came up with this idea. 1

Essentially, identify an innocent seeming song that advocates some odd/criminal behavior and reformat it as a police report style article. My example based on “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” is below. 2

January, 22, 2012 – Resisting Arrest/Violation of a Restraining Order

Eddie Kendricks, 46, was arrested at his former residence, 12 Jones street, at 4:37AM. Kendricks is accused of stalking and violating an order of protection filed by his former wife, Angela Berry, after their recent divorce.

Kendricks is accused of sleeping on the doorstep of the residence they previously shared. Kendricks is also accused of actively preventing Ms. Berry from leaving her home. Witnesses report that Kendricks often appeared incoherent, at times sobbing and begging at the door of Ms. Berry’s residence for hours at a time.

“At first, it was funny,” reported Berry’s neighbor, Ron Paxton. “We’d laugh at him, a grown man, behaving like that. But then he just wouldn’t stop. Poor Angie couldn’t even leave the house. Something had to be done.”

Prosecutors say more charges may be pending for Kendricks who has defied previous restraining orders and was out on bail at the time of his latest arrest.

Ain’t Too Proud To Beg

I know you wanna leave me,
But I refuse to let you go,
If I have to beg, plead for your sympathy,
I don’t mind ’cause you mean that much to me.

Ain’t too proud to beg and you know it,
Please don’t leave me girl,
Don’t you go,
Ain’t too proud to plead, baby, baby,
Please don’t leave me, girl,
Don’t you go.

Now I’ve heard a cryin’ man
Is half a man with no sense of pride,
But if I have to cry to keep you,
I don’t mind weepin’ if it’ll keep you by my side.

–chorus about begging

If I have to sleep on your doorstep all night and day
Just to keep you from walking away,
Let your friends laugh, even this I can stand,
’cause I wanna keep you any way I can.

–chorus about begging

Now I’ve got a love so deep in the pit of my heart,
And each day it grows more and more,
I’m not ashamed to call and plead to you, baby,
If pleading keeps you from walking out that door.

–chorus about begging

1 In other news, I’d love to compare when words like “gun” are censored from songs on the radio based on the music type. For instance, Aerosmith’s Janie’s Got A Gun has no censoring but pretty much any rap song has “gun” censored (Even semi-rap like- Everlast’s What It’s Like gets censored.).

2 Bonus points if you can find a song from a singer/rapper actually arrested for that activity (Bobby Brown and a few others come to mind). It is probably too easy to use rap songs about drugs and killing people but set your own bar as high or low as you’d like. I think it’s much more fun if the song seems totally innocent.

12 thoughts on “Police Beat

  1. That’s a fairly hilarious assignment. Have you added it to the DS106 assignment bank? If so, what’s the tag? The great idea and execution is only 75%, bring that A-game, Woodward, go the full mile!

  2. Joe Elliott, 52, and an unnamed female accomplice was arrested Friday evening at the Carytown Ukrops on January 25, accused of public drunkenness, theft, and vandalism.

    Witnesses said the two were on the baking aisle opening up Domino Sugar boxes and pouring sugar on themselves. Mothers with little children shielded their ears when Elliott allegedly screamed: “I’m hot, sticky sweet
    From my head to my feet, yeah.”

    A few minutes later, they ran out of the store with peaches and cream and were caught at the light on Cary and Sheppard when Elliott couldn’t decide if he should go on the red light, yellow light, or green light.

    While in custody, the arresting police officer confirmed using a hose on Elliott and the unnamed female, as “they were sticky sweet.”

  3. I love this assignment idea too and if you expand the perp list to celebrities that have committed crooned crimes I feel like Robert Downey Jr. and/or Charlie Sheen will be able to fit most police reports.

Comments are closed.